A chance meeting in Bumper led to me spending an afternoon on the set of Hollyoaks with actor Tony Hirst, affectionately known in my household at least, as Mike ‘not bad for a Dad’ Barnes. This interview was published in The Looprevil Press in 2009.
I had to unleash the inner Hollyoaks fan a bit so needed to know the answers to a few questions. Following the death of his fictional daughter Sarah, my flatmate and I had been perturbed as to why the policeman broke the news of her death to Mike on his doorstep in a silent, very Hollyoaks, montage – surely he’d take him inside for a nice cup of tea and a sit down?
There’s a funny story about that. He was an extra, lovely guy. There was no dialogue in it but the director could see lip sync in the shot so he had to say something. So we came to do it, I was behind the door, obviously you knew it was going to be an emotional moment, but you also had to play the surprise of it. I could hear him walking up to the door and he knocks on the door, I open it and he said (adopts comically deep,northern monotone voice) ‘Mr Barnes, your daughter is dead.’ It was so funny. I said to the director ‘does he have to speak?’ he said ‘yes he does but don’t worry I’ll have a word with him, make him be a bit more ... compassionate.’ We roll up to do it again, he knocks on the door, I open the door – ‘Mr Barnes, I’m afraid your daughter is dead’ – hahaha it’s fucking great! If you watch the scene again it’s just me trying so hard not to laugh.
I just thought he would have been better taking him inside, so talk turned to what soaps really stand for, how unrealistic these ‘real life’ dramas actually are –
Sometimes that’s a real frustration but other times it’s a real liberating thing that you can, not have fun, but ease traumatic situations. It’s a soap opera, it is what it is, you know. It’s not a negative thing a lot of the time, it’s, I think it’s fun. I love the good things about soap. There are a lot of bad things I hate about it but that’s not just exclusively about soap. I think there’s a tendency to assume that your audience is stupid. I don’t think they are. Hollyoaks is very unique in that it’s got a really big demographic. It’s got a lot of young kids, really young kids who watch it, obviously a lot of students but then a lot of older, thirty-somethings who watch it. The people who come up to me on the street, more often than not, are the older punters. It’s like my little niece when she was seven or eight she’s be watching the Simpsons just before Hollyoaks – one of the most sophisticated pieces of writing on any television and she gets the Simpsons so she’s going to get Hollyoaks down to a tee, and she does. I’ve been here four years and the show has got so much better– not any coincidence! But I think the script writing has got a lot better and the story telling has got a lot better, At times, and this isn’t exclusive toHollyoaks at all, they do that that thing where they just talk down to the audience, or they panda to that casual idea that they have to explain everything.
The cast and crew of Hollyoaks shoot Monday to Friday and occasionally weekends, the days are long and there are three or four weeks worth of filming being done and once, up to six weeks in advance of showing –
It’s just really strange, coming in every day and playing the same character every day is really odd. Good, great fun, but from an acting job kind of thing it’s strange, I’d never done a soap opera before. You might do a theatre job for a few months and get used to playing that character but never just day in, day out, it’s really odd. Bit like a sausage factory at times. I think it would be very easy to just turn up and become really nonchalant but I enjoy keeping it fresh, keeping myself fresh and on my toes, it’s exciting.
I asked Tony why he hadn’t featured in the infamous Hollyoaks Hunks calendar –
Haha I haven’t been asked yet, I think I’m Mr Leap Year!
I wondered what the perks of being a soap star were and whether he had taken advantage of any of them –
We get a lot of free stuff from companies like clothes and games but it’s stupid, we can afford them if we want them, they should be giving the games to kids that can’t. Although I did use it once when I wanted Bob Dylan tickets for me and my two kids at The Echo this year, so I managed to get them! I thought as well that Dylan in Liverpool would be good because there would be a kind of warmth. When he sang George Harrison’s Somethingeveryone was just singing along, it was just great. I think if I had seen him in London then you’d have had that cynical Southern, corporate attitude. I mean, I’ve lived in London for twenty years and I adore it as a city but there’s that kind of reserved, slightly cold ‘entertain me’ idea but I think he genuinely responded to the warmth of Liverpool. So that was the only time I’ve ever used any sort of Hollyoaks influence, but Hollyoaks and Bob Dylan are very, very far apart!
A conversation about music ensued and we came on to the topic of Hollyoaks’ most recent venture – their music show and the annual X Factor debate.
They don’t ask me anyway, but again this is another frustration. I think they think because you’re over about 28 that suddenly you haven’t got a clue about music, it’s like for fuck’s sake, did The Clash never happen? So, you just kind of get sidelined on that. I don’t want to get involved in it anyway. I do think there’s a great deal of skill on The X Factor. My opinion is though that it should always come from a point of soul and a point of truth and a point of need and if you’ve got that need and you’ve got something to say you’ll find a way. I just don’t like the corporate shaping and ownership of music. It should be about rock ‘n roll and anarchy and voice. It’s that cult of celebrity – when people meet you and recognise you it’s lovely because they see you in their living rooms every day, but when they elevate you, or you see other celebrities elevating themselves over people, it’s bullshit. It’s like punk never happened, I pull me hair out over it sometimes.
Whilst on the lines of ‘celebrities’ and reality TV I couldn’t help but bring up fellow Hollyoaks cast member Ricky Whittle’s performance on Strictly Come Dancing:
I haven’t actually watched it but Ricky is an absolutely lovely bloke and he’s got some moves. I taught him everything he knows. I’m just really pleased that he paid attention in those night clubs where I showed him my best moves.
So would Tony ever be tempted into the realm of reality TV?
No. Not a chance. Um .. no! A. I’m not that interesting, B. I’ve got too big a gob on me and C. I just wouldn’t –I wouldn’t tune in to see it so why would anyone want to see me? I’d rather keep myself to myself.
We wrapped the interview up there as filming had to continue. We had another scoot round the set, and a peek in the green room before Tony had to go back to his day job and step back into the shoes of Mike Barnes. It was a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon. I would have loved to pop into The Dog for a quick wine to finish it off, however all illusions were shattered when I realised it was just a set.
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